Welcome! Some of you may know me as Mallory Klohn, some of you may know me as Ethan Nelson, and some of you got here by mistake while looking for more information on the Amazing Pretzel Boy. Who can say?I'm here to tell you that the only difference between the works of Mallory Klohn and the works of Ethan Nelson is the pseudonym I used when I posted them. Really. When I reformatted them for this page, I noticed that I mentioned the ethereal beauty of Mulder's eyes in nine separate stories.
Good times, good times...
Anywho, here's the lowdown on this hoedown:
All of these stories contain sort of graphic homosexual content, naughty language, and a generally irreverent outlook that I like to think of as cheerful perversity. If this doesn't sound like your bag, you are looking at the wrong web page, my friend.
If you click here right this minute, you can flee to a more wholesome place, and nobody will think any less of you.
Stargate: Atlantis
One Leg at a Time (NC-17: Rodney/John) John Sheppard has learned a lot of things in his relatively short life, but there's only one thing he really knows, and that is that there are two kinds of people in this world: people who wear pants because they want to, and people who wear pants because they have to.
Due South
Free Parking (NC-17: Ben/Ray V.) In which Ray and Ben hang out in the cabin listening to soppy Canadian music and playing Monopoly till all hours of the night. Ray speaks bad Italian, Ben brings his own lube... what else can I say?
One Man's Kink (NC-17: Ben/Ray V.) In which Ben is revealed to be only a man, while Ray turns out to be a monster. But in a good way!
The Sentinel
Woe is You I: Pine and Stew (PG: J/B) In which Blair takes Jim home after his bizarre ordeal in prison and freaks out on Ben-Gay fumes, causing all kinds of havoc and stuff. This story is set post-Prisoner X.
Life Lived Like a Mentos Commercial (NC-17: J/B, B/o) In which Jim relives the same Baffling Day of Death over and over, only making things worse for himself when he tries to make them better. This story was written for an SOS auction, but I refuse to blame myself for the show's cancellation. Plenty of people wrote stories for that auction, damn it.
Lately, my cronies and I have begun issuing malicious story challenges to one another. Since nobody has bothered to come up with a name for our sorry group, I'm taking it upon myself to refer to us as The Juicy Girls.
Vegas Vanity Stories
Loosely based upon our exciting trip to Las Vegas this past November, this challenge was suggested by Carol Ventura.
Bette Midler's Death Mask by Carol Ventura (R: J/B) Jim learns once again that he should really start screening his phone calls when an appeal from Blair leads to Vegas Cheesiness.
Kids Under Twelve Drink Free by me (R: J/B) In which Jim and Blair go to Las Vegas just for the heck of it. Jim suffers greatly but wins big, while Blair loses big and suffers, well, not at all.
Bright Lights by AnneZo (R: J/B) In which Anne is too good to write a goddamn summary... eh, I mean, in which Blair has a rotten time in Las Vegas, and still manages to lose sixteen hours of his life without alien intervention. But then, smoochies!
The Mysterious Box o' Goods
Under significant pressure from Carol Ventura to come up with a new challenge, I said that Jim and Blair should be in an established relationship, and then one or the other should receive a mysterious box o' goods from a former lover.
One day, something may come of this.
Queer As Folk UK
I Like It Like That (V/S) There's no karaoke in this one.
World's Biggest World I: Two Sleepy People (V/S) There's no karaoke in this one, either.
World's Biggest World II: I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper (V/S) Vince scrubs up with a loofah and lip synchs to Dancing Queen. Okay, he doesn't, but we know *you* do.
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Looking for Ethan Nelson's XF fic? It's shacked up over at GiGi's place. Dig it.Legal Stuff: Due South and its characters belong to Alliance Communications. The Sentinel and its characters belong to Paramount and Pet Fly. Queer As Folk belongs to several English fellows, I imagine. No copyright infringement is intended, and no money is being made from their use.